For Everything You Have Done, I Thank You…or, A Letter to the “Other Woman”

 

For Everything You Have Done, I Thank You

Thank you for all you have shown him. 

Thank you for showing him such a blazing contrast to what I am and what I offer to him. 

He has seen everything that you are: nothing.  He has seen everything that you represent: emptiness. Because of you and the life you represent…a life filled with dark and meaningless emptiness, a life that can never truly fulfill…he has now come to appreciate a life which is full of wholesome light and purpose; a life that is full of meaning and that can truly satisfy; a life that I can offer to him, but that you never could. Because you have shown him these things, he has finally chosen to remove the blinders and filters from his eyes, chosen to live a better life, chosen to become a better person than he ever was before. Thank you for showing him the shallow side of life, and how easily it corrodes and erodes away. Thank you for helping him realize what is truly important in life, by showing him things that have no long-term significance in comparison.

Because he has been exposed to your instability…like the house built on sinking sand…he has a newfound appreciation for my own comforting stability…like the house built on solid rock. Thank you for helping him value my stability by showing him its opposite in yourself.

Because his eyes have witnessed the ugliness of raw conceit and self-centeredness, he can now acknowledge the true beauty of the selflessness of his wife.  The true beauty of a wife who highly values her family and has proven that she’d give of herself for its benefit. The true beauty of a wife who has no need to sing her own praises to others. The true beauty of a wife who does not feel the need to purposely draw attention to herself, because she is confident enough within herself and so has no need to pry constant attention and adulation from others in order to be happy. Thank you for showing him conceit, for he now knows that conceit does not equal self-confidence.  Thank you for showing him self-centeredness, for he now knows how desirable it is to have a wife who cares more for others than for her own self.

Because you have shown him your version of what life is…a worthless imitation of happiness filled with alcohol and filled with bars and filled with saline/silicone facades…because you have shown him this version of life, he is now able to look at me and see a wholesome genuineness; he is able to see an authentic beauty that is all-natural instead of a showy sham, a beauty unadulterated by synthetic veneers; he is able to see a contentedness from deep within me that comes from being true to myself.  These rare qualities that I possess…which he could never witness in you…these things that he now recognizes in me give him a peace and pleasure that lingers and satisfies.  These valuable qualities that I possess…which he could never witness in you…give him a satisfaction that runs fathoms deeper than what any alcohol-induced passion could ever come close to producing. Thank you for helping him appreciate the genuine, the real, the natural…everything that I am, and you are not.

Because he has wallowed with you in everything that pure love isn’t, he is now able to clearly see what pure love truly is.  Until he had lived amidst my opposite and experienced it in all its grisly and repulsive glory, how could he really understand and appreciate all the desirable traits I possess?  Sometimes, the best way to learn what something is, is to be able to experience what it isn’t.  Thank you for teaching him all about my opposite, so he is now fully able to recognize what love is by contrasting it to what love isn’t.

Thank you for all you have done for him, for me, for our marriage.  For although your every intention was to break up our family, instead you ultimately achieved the opposite.  His experience with you has given him the desire to repair our relationship with the highest quality cement…a mixture of pure love and commitment.  That mixture will strengthen our marriage-bond into a crumble-proof building with the strongest of foundations.

Thank you, because our relationship is now impervious to the storms of life.  We can now stand together, stronger as a single unit, against whatever darkness or troubles that dare to come our way.

Thank you.

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