The “Chosen” Path: Introduction

*Links to the other parts of The “Chosen” Path series are given at the end of this post.

I must confess two things. The first confession is something that you may already be aware of, but I will state it anyway: I am considered to be a stay-at-home mom. Although I did manage to start up a small business from scratch by working part-time hours from home, my main focus for the past 15+ years has undoubtedly been that of raising my child, homeschooling for a number of years, as well as accomplishing all of the unpaid work required to run a household smoothly (except mowing the lawn, although I even did that a handful of times). Having been a bona fide stay-at-home mom, you may trust in the fact that I have almost two decades of first-hand experience of the general working conditions of the job. This experience has also made me familiar with the overall climate of society’s ever-fluctuating views on the acceptance of and/or opposition to a woman who prioritizes her family over money and career status.

The second thing I must admit is, and I am sorry to say it, that I have also been known to complain about certain issues that stay-at-home moms must face. These complaints are multifaceted but can, for the most part, be boiled down to two main categories. The first type of complaint deals largely with the misconceptions surrounding the amount of work that encompasses the title of “Stay-At-Home Mom.” These types of misconceptions are commonly held by her husband and by society, in general. The second category of complaint typically focuses on the lack of appreciation stay-at-home moms are given for a job well done, largely due to the unfortunate fact that their work is, for the most part, invisible – that is, as long as their work is being done. However, if a stay-at-home mom would ever dare come down with the flu for a few days, it may be counted on that her work going UNdone will certainly be noticed.

Many times, I have heard people (aka: people who are NOT stay-at-home moms) try to grapple with this mysterious need for stay-at-home-moms to vent their frustrations. It remains a puzzling mystery to these people how stay-at-home moms have the audacity to complain. Unable to see clearly with their myopic view, their thinking never fails to run along these lines: “What could possibly be so stressful and unpleasant about staying home all day? All (that’s right: “all”) she has to do every day is raise the children, keep the house clean, and put food on the table! It must be the easiest thing in the world, and I am so efficient that I bet I could do it all in under an hour. And here I am, working and slaving every day in a quiet, adult-filled office for 40 hours every week (or insert whatever other work environment best suits your situation here). She surely does have a much cushier life than me!”

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The irony is that, oftentimes, those who complain about the complaints of stay-at-home moms don’t hold themselves to their own standards. Take, for example, the husband who has been known to rant against the rantings of his own stay-at-home-mom wife. Let’s imagine that he has just endured a rough day at his own place of work. Does he decide to vent his frustrations about his own workday? Of course he does! He has no qualms about it at all. From his viewpoint, complaints about his own work are totally legitimate. So, he regularly allows himself the freedom to complain to his wife about whatever or whomever has been irking him at his place of work. His stay-at-home-mom wife would never even think of asking him why he feels the need to vent. Instead, she would understand that letting off some steam may actually be helpful and a sympathetic ear may be soothing. Also, she would certainly never think it wise to reply matter-of-factly to him with the insulting retort that, since he has “chosen” to work that job, he simply has no right to complain about it. She would never ask him in exasperation, “How dare you complain about your work when you ‘chose’ it, after all?” That would be rather unjust of her, wouldn’t it?

Here is another example, using this same hypothetical husband. I am positively sure that whenever this husband does something notable at his place of work, he receives appreciation in many forms. For example, he receives a salary every week and paid vacation/sick leave as basic forms of recognition that he is completing his job satisfactorily. Then, if he does something stellar, he may be eligible to receive above and beyond these basic rights. For example, he might earn extra vacation days, or he may be given a prestigious award or a monetary bonus; some workplaces even send a well-deserving employee on an all-expenses-paid vacation! On top of all of this workplace recognition, his stay-at-home-mom wife probably gives him good-sized doses of appreciation for his contribution to the household. How appreciated that husband must feel as he wallows in all of these accolades, which rain down on him regularly from his workplace and his wife!

In short, a husband such as this proves himself to be an unapologetic hypocrite when he easily becomes annoyed by the fact that his stay-at-home-mom wife has the nerve to expect the most basic forms of acknowledgement and appreciation from him, or even that she dares to vent about her own frustrations from time to time. Nevertheless, HE expects to be allowed to unburden himself when something about his job frustrates him, and HE receives regular appreciation for doing his own job. This being the case, how does he justify his annoyance at his wife for desiring the same?

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It is important to understand that I am specifically writing this series to educate those who believe that stay-at-home moms have no right nor reason to vent. Commonly, these people have been known to use the following three fallacious statements (or some version of the statements) to explain why stay-at-home moms simply have no legitimate reason to complain:

1. She CHOSE to have kids!

2. She CHOSE not to work outside of the home!

3. She CHOSE to place 100% of the financial household burden onto the back of her husband!

Why, then, are so many stay-at-home moms pining over their plight? What’s to complain about? Why can’t they just relax and enjoy their time as a stay-at-home mom? After all, isn’t her “job” practically the equivalent of “being on a permanent vacation”? Obviously, the types of people who ask themselves these questions and who hold to the three above-listed tenets ignore the fact that they themselves have never actually been a stay-at-home parent. Therefore, they really know little to nothing about what a stay-at-home parent must accomplish every day, all with no safe space to vent and oftentimes with little to no gratefulness given in return for their labor.

In order to attempt to make some sense out of this inexplicable need of stay-at-home moms to lament certain aspects of their supposedly heavenly lives, let’s look more closely into each and every one of these three supposed “choices” and discover what facts may be hiding in plain sight. If you have ever been known to make any of these three statements, now is the time to take out a pencil and paper and get ready to take some notes.

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Other parts of The “Chosen” Path series:

The “Chosen” Path: Fallacy #1

“She CHOSE to have kids!”

https://piecestopeace.home.blog/2025/09/16/the-chosen-path-fallacy-1/

The “Chosen” Path: Fallacy #2:

“She CHOSE not to work outside of the home!”

https://piecestopeace.home.blog/2025/09/19/the-chosen-path-fallacy-2/

The “Chosen” Path: Fallacy #3

“She CHOSE to place 100% of the financial burden onto the back of her husband!”

https://piecestopeace.home.blog/2025/09/22/the-chosen-path-fallacy-3/

The “Chosen” Path: Conclusion

https://piecestopeace.home.blog/2025/09/23/the-chosen-path-conclusion/